I made a tutu for Fiction. I tried it on myself. It ties together so there was a bit of a gap between each tu when it was around my waist. When I turned around and Fury could see the gap he said, “I was wondering how a tutu could fit you and Fiction.”
“Did you just call me fat?”
“No. I called you 35.”
I’M ONLY 33!
So after working some crazy hours and then getting sick, I have been off the radar for a few weeks. Now I’m going to rack up some more hours at work and then have some fbulous company in the last frontire so I might not be blogging for a while. whenever I say that I suddenly find I have a million things to blog about!
this morning we found a little chihuahua in our driveway. We scooped him up (before an eagle could), we took him for a walk and then put a big sign in the front yard, “We found your dog!” Apparently he lives just across the street. He’s 15 years old and gets confused sometimes. His name is Booboo (which my mother thought was ridiculous because all dogs are named Bubbie) but I still don’t know my neighbors names. I’m so bad at talking to people! btw, I wish we had a dog.
I went to a penance service on Thursday (my first). I liked it but at the end of the service you have to wait for a priest to confess to. There were five priests but it still seemed like it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to make anyone else feel rushed but we did have the two children with us and it was past bedtime. It’s actually really nice to go to confession. It can be intimidating at first but the priest doesn’t ask for details. The few times I’ve been I’ve gotten great insight from the priest and felt great peace from the sacrament.
I was at the playground talking to this grandmother about how surprised I was to feel sad registering my daughter for kindergarten. We have lunch together every day, now we will only have lunch together on weekends (holidays, vacations, breaks and summer.) She told me that her three year old was diagnosed with cancer and died before she could start kindergarten. She wasn’t mean about it, obivously I didn’t know about her daughter. Of course I want my daughter to go to school, to grow more independent, I want to enjoy every stage of her life. I supposed I needed a bit of perspective. In a few years I will miss her kindergarten days.
I’m not done sewing Fiction’s Easter dress yet (please wish me luck. I’m not going to have time after tomorrow.) Luckily Idaho John can wear his suit from last year. Hmm… What am I going to wear?
I hope you have a great Easter!!!! God is so good to us. He calls to us, He draws us near, until one day when He envelopes us completely in a divine hug.
When I started talking about adopted I found out a friend of mine from high school was adopted through Holt (the agency we’re working with). Last night I met I met another adult who was adopted through Holt. I had a fascinating conversation with her about her family. She was adopted at 6 months old from Korea. At age 7 she asked her parents why she didn’t look like the rest of the family and they talked to her about her adoption. I would like to have a “lifebook”, it’s like a baby book. It talks about my child’s life before the adoption and all about the adoption and our first year as a family. Also I’d like to celebrate the anniversary of the adoption every year.
When she turned 18 she asked her parents if she could seek out her birth family. They said yes, they gave her all of her adoption paperwork. She called Holt and wrote a letter to her birth parents. They helped her translate it and reached her birth parents. Her birth mom said she wasn’t sure she should see or even speak to her because she didn’t raise her. The girl was sick as an infant and her parents gave her up to someone who could give her better medical care. She said she still wanted to speak with her birth family and one day would love to come to Korea and meet them.
Holt offers tours for adult adoptees. I wonder if I should start saving now. I would love to go with my child back to the country of origin. I would love to take the whole family. I would want seeing the country and even meeting the birth family (though that probably wouldn’t be possible with a Chinese adoption) to be a bonding experience for all of us rather than something I’m self-conscious and insecure about.
For now, we’re continuing to work on our dossier. We won’t be matched with a child (or even look for one) until our dossier is complete. I wouldn’t be surprised if it took us 2 years to complete the adoption. There’s no rush… though it would be nice to hold our child in our arms and know that all the paperwork was complete and correct ;)
First, let me say that centering prayer has been a big aid to my patience, energy and joy. Secondly, my friends have been of great encouragement when I feel worn down. Last week I was frustrated with bedtime stories because no one heard a word I read. But my friend, Samantha, reminded me what a wonderful tradition it is and to slow down, ask questions throughout the chapter, choose different, or more familiar books for bedtime and don’t give up!
Now I have a new tactic that I can implement even when I am alone with the children. I don’t need to wait till I can call a friend for support.
Whenever I feel worn down, exhausted, annoyed, or bored I imagine that my children are fully grown. They have moved out of the house, perhaps across the country in their quest to fulfill the dreams I raised them to dream. I imagine I am 55 years old, arthritic (but still looking great for my age).
I get the chance to travel back in time to 2011, when my kids were 5 and 2. I get just fifteen minutes to be with them and enjoy them at this young age. Suddenly I feel 33! I don’t mind if they want to make a mess, in fact I want them to make a mess. I want to read with them, cook, paint, run, wrestle, tackle a project, or just sit still together. I am amazed at how young we all are. And I don’t feel frustrated, bored, exhausted, annoyed or worn down.
I feel like the Time Traveling Mom.
I dropped Fiction off at preschool and her teacher stopped to speak with me. She said she thwarted an accident last week.
From across the play ground she saw my daughter near the tree house (which hovers about 4 foot off of the ground, a ground littered with shredded rubber). A boy who “can jump off of the tree house” was trying to talk her into jumping. The teacher stopped her. She wanted to make sure I also spoke to my daughter about peer pressure and saying, “no.”
But…
Umm…
If the boy could jump off of the tree house, why couldn’t Fiction?
She’s tall, she’s strong, she’s one of the older kids in the class. It’s possible the boy was a kindergardener but even if he were I still think she could have made the jump.
No, I don’t think she should do it because of peer pressure, but I don’t think she should be scared of the jump because of superior-pressure.
When I spoke with my daughter she said she was scared to jump. I told her it’s good to cautious, but sometimes it’s okay to take small risks. As I child I was afraid to slide down the pole in the playground. I thought my hands would burn, I kept waiting till I had gloves, then I was afraid the gloves would made me slip. What a silly child I was!
For Lent I gave up processed sugar (plus corn syrup, maple syrup and honey.) On Fridays I’ve given up meat and we’ve had one day of fasting so far. In three weeks I lost 5 pounds.
Then I got the flu and in three days I lost an additional 5 pounds! Plus Fury took care of the kids, cleaned the house, cooked the meals… There was a moment when I thought, “God if you want to take me now I will not object.” But other than that having the flu was a highly positive experience. I have never had the flu before and foolishly ignored the great advice to stay hydrated. Now my lips are chapped and when I ate an orange yesterday my throat felt like there were little scratches on it. It still hurts my head to cough and my neck is still stiff. I’m afraid once I get completely over being nauseated that I might <gasp> eat and thwart my weight-loss progress.
I guess I’ll just have to hope to get the flu again next year.